forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
