So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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