he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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