Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
