god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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