he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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