i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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