I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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