youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship