Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
