I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He better not be in your backpack
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
