i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
