at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
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Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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