No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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