Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Walk of Shame today included voting.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
