Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize