i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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