dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
