I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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