Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
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Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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