I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
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I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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