Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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