Screwed.edu
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
