I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
