I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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