two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
