Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
