I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
