Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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