I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize