I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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