My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
