remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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