these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This is the high leading the old right now
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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