Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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