New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
