Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
