i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
