So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize