Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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