How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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