I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
