I got chris browned last night
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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