Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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