As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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