im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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