did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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