My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Say something about gay babies.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
