No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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