She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
