so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
