If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
