Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
