someone get that fucking seahorse.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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