I hate all girls vehemently.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
