I think I am morally bankrupt
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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