Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize