You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
