I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
