She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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