you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
