Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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