BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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