Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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