Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
