Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
