drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
