Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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