Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
