Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
