Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
