i wish my penis had a tongue
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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