Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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