well you can't waste a boner
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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