another moral hangover. fuck.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
