what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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