guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
