Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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