question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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